Ready for the Chop?

Ready for the Chop

by teachercreature on October 15, 2010

After months of speculative sneering and wittering from the likes of Nick Robinson and Robert Peston, the age of austerity has, it seems, actually arrived

We teachers are bracing ourselves for 25 per cent cuts to already meagre school budgets and staring a return to the educational decay of the 1980s square in the face.

Every school is being hit by redundancies, class sizes are rising and they’ve even removed the boiled sweets and the bottled water from the tables at courses.

And, quite frankly, everyone from the women who mop the piss off the boy’s toilet floors, to the six-figure salaried saddlebacks at the PDC, are filling their trousers with fear. Even my mum asked if she could borrow a fiver the other day. [click to continue…]

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Head Ache

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by teachercreature on July 29, 2010

The Loony in Charge at school has, I am saddened to say, definitely lost it. Not in a ‘pants on the head, pencils up the nose’, comedy way. But in a Fu Man Chu, the world must pay, boggle-eyed sociopathic way. Needless to say, it’s been bad. 

During my time at the Loony’s school, I have been shocked by much that she has said and done. But I have always put her negativity, empty rhetoric and strange decision making down to a genuine desire to do the best for the kids.

Sure there were the three bullying cases brought against her by other staff and of course there are the other two separate grievances  which prompted further visits from the union this summer. Not to mention the racism claim.

But I always thought the Loony was more Ann Robinson than Hermann Goering. I was wrong. She tried to nail me to the wall. Because I got another job. [click to continue…]

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Reporting for Duty

July 27, 2010

Fingers aching? Tense nervous headache? Slight loss of ctrl (and c)? Must have just finished writing annual reports then!
To non-teachers, the summer term must appear to be one endless string of leavers’ shows, sports days and games of rounders on the field. Fun, fun, fun, waiting for the blessed relief of the six week holiday.
The rest of [...]

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May 4, 2010

With the election campaign coming to a close (and a saggy Gordon Brown looking like he’s coming to the end of his life), it’s time for primary teachers to take one last deep breath before the ensuing storm.
All the main parties claim they will re-energise teaching, improve standards and promote excellence. Odiously-quiffed Tory toff David Cameron also plans to “put [...]

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April 24, 2010

So finally the misery is over and Year 6 children in England will no longer be chained to desks and forced to sit meaningless, restrictive exams.
The mighty teaching unions have spoken and a nationwide boycott of SATs – threatened every year since the dawn of time – is set to happen next month.
And of course [...]

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April 19, 2010

Like a grimy toilet cubicle with a floater that won’t flush, the APP (Assessing Pupil Progress) sheet is always the last choice of the busy teacher. But like that pesky floater, it won’t go away.
The burden of the highlighted assessment focus sheet keeps bobbing up and down at the back of your mind until eventually [...]

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April 12, 2010

At last we have entered the month-long verbal cage-fight that is the run-up to the UK general election. During this period of time, the Teachercreature enjoys watching MPs of all parties take a real battering from both their opposition and the media. And on the big day, call me sadistic, but there is a lot [...]

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Self Assembly

April 5, 2010

Is it me, or are assemblies getting more turgid than ever? There used to be a certain comedy value that made them an essential part of the school day. They were planned on the way to the hall and generally involved some interaction between the person at the front and the children.
Often this was just [...]

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Can You Smell What’s Cooking?

April 1, 2010

Smug mockney kitchen-chimp Jamie Oliver slithered closer to getting his knighthood this week after shock news that the proper food served-up in his school dinners campaign has boosted children’s learning.
The unsurprising evidence (in The Guardian) has revealed English SATs results in a small section of London schools went up 4.5 per cent after turkey twizzlers were replaced [...]

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Judgement Day

March 26, 2010

The stench of fear that accompanies a round of lesson observations wafted through school this week. It’s always a horrible time. The staff get edgy. The children get shouted at. In fact, the only people who aren’t really affected are the lucky buggers who get to do the observing.
Even if you have no idea who the timetabled [...]

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